So, you know, I will.
Because I'm just a stranger who likes to talk about money. Better you hear it all from me instead of making Thanksgiving dinner super uncomfortable, amirite?
So....why don't you ever have any money?
Why are you up to your eyeballs in debt and you're considering asking for a loan (Ugh...no.)
Why do you have no retirement?
Here's what they want to tell you....but won't.
Yup. You are entitled. You feel like you DESERVE x,y,z and so you bend the rules of finances in order to obtain the items. You work hard, you DESERVE a brand new car with leather seats and a $600/month lease payment. You only live once, right? And who wants to commute in a shitty car?
You DESERVE a big house with an equally big mortgage. You deserve to buy new clothes every season...or every week...or every day. Who knows.
Either way, you are talking yourself into why you deserve the purchases you make. And what you are telling yourself is: in some way, I am entitled to spend this money....even if I don't have it.
You Spend Money on Stupid Shit
Maybe you were super jazzed about whatever sparkly brand new doohickey you last plopped down money for, but I can bet you got some side-eyes behind your back. If you are a serial-broke-ster.....you can bet your family and friends notice the stupid shit you decide to delegate your funds to.
Cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, whatever vice trips your trigger. This is STUPID.
Gym Memberships when you've never set foot inside a gym
Consistently getting your hair or nails done when you don't have a proverbial pot to piss in.
Going out to eat all the time (this is MY own personal stupid)......stupid.
Having to have the latest, best, greatest, and new-est? Stupid.
Yes, this is stupid. People try to justify it....but it's stupid. Stop spending money on stupid shit...save more money. Simple!
You Think You Have Time
Who needs a retirement account at 30? That's, like, 50 years from death! You've got plenty of time to sock away some funds and, besides, isn't that what social security is for?
Oh poor, wayward spender. C'mere. Let's chat.
No....you don't have time. No one's time on this earth is guaranteed....and especially if you have a family, you need to start saving for retirement....AND get life insurance.
You Care What Other People Think
Here's a tip: Other people don't think about you as much as you think they do. Believe me, I have MAJOR anxiety about what other people must think about me. For one, I typically dress like an early 90's scrub reject.....and it's not until I get to the bank/post office/whatever that I realize there's a hole in my sweater (like I discovered at this past weekend's wedding) or a big stain on my pants. And I get majorly self-conscious because what if these people think I'm some homeless, scrubby do-nothing with no job?
We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that DON'T MATTER. Marketers THRIVE on this. They wrangle Instagram and You Tube "influencers" to have them talk US, the buying public, into buying what's cool. Because, hey...if that influencer uses it, I should too! Look at all the friends they have!
It's a ploy....and it's only going to run you into a cycle of buying and becoming unhappy. Because things can't fulfill us.
This all probably makes you sound like a royal asshole, right? Fear not, friend. This is ALL OF US. We are all, at one point in time, entitled. We all spend money on really stupid shit (some of us just don't live to regret it and repeat the process). We all think we have time......and we ALL, sometimes, care what others think.
The silver lining is....once you become aware of all this, it changes your spending habits drastically. Once you can tell yourself "You know what, just because I have a long commute doesn't mean I have to have a $50,000 luxury car.....basic is okay too"....Once you can tell yourself "I don't need to stop at Fazoli's for breadsticks right now" (I did this tonight....and even though I had a major jones for breadsticks, I was strong and resisted the pull of their buttery/garlic-y goodness).
Once you change your frame of mind....once you identify your "WHY".....your friends and family will start to see the change in you.....and what they'll want to tell you about your spending habits won't need a big, awkward "come to Jesus" talk.
So, you know, I will.